Eccentricities at the Student House

In big cities, you get crazy people. I think everyone can attest to that. We've had a few of those people at the International Students House lately. So crazy that I began taking notes when they spoke to me or around me. It's the stuff books are made of.

Crazy Person #1: A frizzy haired chinese woman who refers to herself as Sarah Brown has been here at ISH for the past month or so. She sent the accommodation department an e-mail that said, "Greetings, my name is Sarah Brown from America. I am here to marry your Prime Minister, Gordon Brown. I would appreciate anything you can do to assist me." Now, Sarah Brown is the name of Gordon Brown's wife, which is hilarious to me. In the past few days she's become more and more eccentric, tying up the red phone booth in the lobby for 4 hours on end trying to call the Prime Minister, then calling anyone a racist who tries to stop her.

Crazy #2: Maria, the old Polish woman who says she is from America.
Maria is very short and wears a grey trench coat with hair striped with grey and red. She has huge round blue glasses with thick lenses that she has to squint to see me through. We were told she is not to be allowed in the building, so she stands behind the barrier, right in front of me and shouts at me in a high pitched voice about how they got to me and turned me against her. She asked me where I'm from but I didn't respond when she guessed almost every english speaking country, then began with U.S. states until I told her I'm from Kansas.
Then Nacho, the duty manager came and told her she is not welcome because she is rude to staff. She accused him of being racist then told him to go back to Madrid where the terrorists are. Then he said, but Maria, now you are being prejudiced. And she said "Yes!"
Then they went outside where she told Nacho to go to hell and left, but not before sticking her head inside the door and saying to me, "Kansas, you are sitting in the snake pit, I don't know why you're here, sitting in the snake pit!"

She left for a few hours, but just came back and asked to be let inside. I said no, I can't let you inside, and she proceeded to talk to me nonstop once again. Here are some bits of this lovely woman:

You don't talk to me because I'm old, and I don't wear short skirts and show my PooPah. Because that's what girls your age do, you know, they lift up their skirts and show their PooPah. I was just at the hospital and a nurse there bent down and I saw hers.

Girls go missing here. You know that? Girls go missing all the time. Especially American ones.

Nacho: Maria, the police are coming to remove you from the property.
Maria: Wonderful! Put the property on your back and take it to Madrid!

Oh, and Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 are friends.

Strange but true.